More on the Mexican Mafia in Humboldt

- Humboldt County Herb Forecast

The coming year in Humboldt County promises to bring a bumper crop of marijuana. Three factors play into this: the ascension of a new District Attorney, the war with Iraq, and the Mexican Mafia. - view related link

- Nadananda predicts vigilantes may battle cartel pot farms

Nadananda predicts vigilantes may battle cartel pot farms: Interviewed by Bay Area news radio station KCBS, Friends of the Eel founder Nadananda warned that staffing cuts in state parks could lead to danger to the woods from Mexican drug cartels. The report concludes, “Nadananda says she thinks the situation may get so bad that vigilante committees could form to deal with the problem.” Now that’s a frightening scenario. - view related link

Wild Turkey's Turn Vigilante over Environmental Worries
by Nico Pablo

November 17, 2009

We are both happy and sad to report that a band of local wild turkey's have turned vigilante in the Southern Humboldt and Northern Mendocino hills. This flock of gobblers are apparently pissed that the dark meat birds are invading their remote and pristine habitations.

More importantly, it is the cross-border flying mexican national dark birds that have decided to return to their old native lands in attempts to profit from the highly delicate and recently destablized rebel alliance in the area. There are predictions that the local rivers that these turkey's use to produce their own high grade white meats are being drained rapidly.

While the turkey's have gobbled endlessly to the local habitat preservation authorities it seems nothing is being done to stem this dark turn of events. And now the wild turk's are clucking mad!

It seems these dark meat outsiders are simply not welcome in the more prestigious and protected white meat dominated locales. They are like canadian geese with their fat belly rolls and in and out attitudes. They are like the crows coming to dine on the spoils of the turkey's hard fought dinner. They are pigeons flocking around the latest score and endlessly taking with no concern for the locals who live there.

So these wild turkey's have decided it's time to shoot it straight! No more laisse-faire attitudes of half flying around and fattening up on the profitable local delicacies. They are planning to really start shaking their tail feathers at these outsiders to create some fear in their dark hearts and minds.

The rebel turkey's plan to start shaking down and prancing wildly around these foreign ducks to keep a close eye on just what they are up to. Who cares about them crowing about civil liberties or the pigeon-hole style profiling. There is simply not enough water left for the turkey's to continue their peaceful rebellion out in the hills. And it's not like they are able to (or would want to) just fly away.

If you've never met a pissed turkey let me tell you it's not pretty. They fluff a pretty good tail full of feathers as they stomp and prance around violently. I mean, nobody's drinking pigeon porter for the holidays. It's the luscious pure white meat that these local turkey's produce that everyone craves. These foreign ducks don't get pardons from the president on Thanksgiving. Nobody wants to hear about the tear-jerking story of the black crows at the holidays.

We suspect you will be hearing a lot of flapping around and fake run-offs by these vigilante turks in the coming months and years. Even they are starting to realize the benefits of branding their own white meat as a legitimate staple of the american diet apart from just festivals and holiday enjoyment. And this is rightfully so because the masses want to be able to get the white meat (that only the local Turkey's can produce) at any time or place during the year. And once they can get the white meat easily who will need the swaggy dark meat that has been secretly gobbled up for far too long now.

We say Wild Turkey's Unite! It's time to smoke those birds in public! And we can all make a non-violent killing off of it while we pluck away the profitable feathers from those pesky dark meat birds!